So I just found out that my mom and dad arent married
What? They have three kids?
Yep. And apparently I have a half brother. Happy Birthday to me
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
Randomize