He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
How does one acquire holy water?
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
Randomize
