I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
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