I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
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