How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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