Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
Randomize
