of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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