As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
Randomize