4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
Randomize
