Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
Kareoke will never be a sober sport
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
Randomize
