the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
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