we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
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