chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
Sober me is really good at getting to the airport on time. Drunk me is really good at shitting my pants. Do you know how much pants cost at the airport????
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
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