I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Randomize
