The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
Randomize