hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
