so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
Randomize
