your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
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