i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
I want a musical about memes.
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
Randomize
