Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
Randomize
