thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
I just woke up to my FedEx of contacts I've been waiting for for about a week and my hungover ass went to the bathroom and used beer instead of contact solution.
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
