I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
Randomize
