Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
I need to stop coming to work sober
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
Randomize