Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
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