oh fat girl friday strikes again...
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
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