Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
Randomize
