i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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