i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
