my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
Randomize