you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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