I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
Randomize
