heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
Randomize
