Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
Randomize
