your parents love me but you hate me
the cashier wished me a happy fathers day while i bought condoms
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
Randomize
