For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
Randomize
