if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
Hey
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GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
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