I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
Randomize
