oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
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