No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
