i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
Your cock deserves a montage
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
