He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
Randomize
