Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
