The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Randomize
