Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
Sorry my hands just texted you
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
Randomize
