i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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