he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
and then I drunkenly screamed, "you can ride that Uber all the way to revenge city!"
which was funny until I realized I paid for my enemy's cab to go fuck my ex
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
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