whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize
