I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
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