i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
Randomize
