can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
Randomize
