I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
Randomize
