so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
Randomize
