yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
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