I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
Randomize
