plz talk dirty to me
i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
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