i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
Randomize
