barbara walters just said penis...
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
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